"Hard looking beast, Jimmy" says the man from Glasgow.

"Wye aye, he's the hardest dog in the world. Never been beaten. Kill anything."

"I bet my dog could give him a scrap!" Says the jock.

"I bet you a £100 he couldn't - what kind is your dog"

"Och, he's a long nosed, long tailed, short legged poodle."

"A what?"

"He's a long nosed, long tailed, short legged poodle."

The bets are placed, and they go out to the car park, where the owner of the poodle lets it out of the back of his car, and battle is joined. After a few seconds, the hardest dog in the world is reduced to a pile of bones.

"Whey man!", says the Geordie owner, "That's a hell of a beast you've got there. What breed did you say it was again?"

"He's a long nosed, long tailed, short legged poodle. But you lot in the South call it a crocodile for short."